Tiny little cells coiling into themselves, as the blood continues to flow with increased activity as if attempting to quickly flush all that is happening within the moment. Restriction begins to take hold within my throat, building what feels like a massive collection of thoughts; if they were to escape would cause a lava flow of emotions. My heart pounds as the awareness of my body completing some reactive response increases and I am left with a space of overwhelm and subtle confusion as to why these emotions can no longer be neatly tucked away, upon my quick compartmentalization techniques I have successfully used my entire life.
No, this function is no longer accessible; rather it has been replaced with a gate that seems to have flood waters pounding away, breaking down the structure to allow the water to raging forth, uncontrolled. The fear sets in, with the anxiety of the unknown building. Breathing no longer bringing ease, instead, reminding me of the physiological activity happening within my body. The emotions are big, intense, and take a lot of space in a room that suddenly feels suffocating.
Carry on, let the emotions flow as they are meant, I remind myself over and over. Clarity sparkles on the peripheral; this is the new me. I have finally unwound the pathways that have locked me up with limited emotions, lacking the sensation of “feeling” the intensity of the wave that overcomes the physical body. A new me I now get to experience and learn more about. A me that is shedding the limiting habits and beliefs, placed upon me as a young child.
~This journey continues to unravel the mysteries of being a human on an earth that seems to be driven by emotions.