The smoke from the sage filled my lungs while playing songs in my head. The fragrant smells and melody coming from the rainforest were a poetic symphony cheering on the unfolding of such a beautiful night glowing from Grandmother Moons joy.
My soul knew what was about to happen and my body resisted with fear and hesitation, my mind began to wonder what was going on. A night I recall to be my deepest surrender, strongest commitment and acceptance of responsibility along my spiritual path thus far. My heart never stopped pounding, reminding me just how alive I was.
As the crowd began to retreat to their bungalows in the depths of the rainforest in Utuado Puerto Rico, I was beckoned by an amazing spiritual teacher and my guides to step into a new space of consciousness and understanding. My gorgeous long hair, inflated ego and true self-reflection would meet under the bright shine of grandmother moon. What followed that evening lead to one of the most extraordinarily profound years of my life. I am thankful for that night, as I see it to be a beginning and end all in one.
A simple hair cut within a sacred space of ceremony in the highest love from God and the Angels took place. When hair is cut in this space, specifically during a full moon a summoning of a deeper truth has the potential to take place. This truth brings our shadows to the surface to look into and see our whole self.
Reflecting upon my shadows brought anger almost immediately, as seeing this part of who I am was not easy. While I knew what I was seeing was only for me to process, understand in a deeper way and simply know it is a part of me no matter what, I still struggled with what I saw and fully accepting this part of who I am.
A feeling of hatred was staring back into my eyes from the dark mirror. Tears fell from my cheeks with rage emerging from a place I had never felt before. Struggling to fully understand a tiny glimpse of clarity swirled in; intense emotions existing within me, what I was holding onto and the darker part of who I am were being shown to me to accept, heal and love.
I entered into the ceremony with conflicted emotions, yet there had never been, for even a moment, doubt in knowing this is exactly where I was supposed to be. My heart guided me with such strength, I am not sure I could have physically resisted had I tried. Reflecting and seeing this part of me was critical for what I came here to experience and live.
After this incredible session, I found myself more committed to my personal practice of life; finding my purpose, reflecting deeply, daily meditation, mindfully living and becoming responsible for the things I was learning along the way. This practice opened doors to see new countries, meet new people, and continue the process of peeling back the layers to opening my heart fully. Peru, Bolivia, Norway, Canada, the NW (U.S.) and Puerto Rico were all a part of this heart-opening journey.
In October of 2015 I sat with this very same spiritual healer and teacher, surrendering my hair, body, mind and spirit, once again to this space, under the same moon, one year previous. Immediately I recognized what a blessing it is to be in this life, have this body, know we are never alone, and feel so surrounded, protected and loved. I was thankful for this space and awareness.
As the scissors began to slice away for the second time, my heart sang, a smile swept across my face and my body melded into the chair. My time was then, in that moment, I was there to do this work and there I sat with an open heart, happiness within and love all around. I called forth the Goddess of divine beauty to help with the work, allowing the opportunity to go deeper into a place of surrender and knowing all things happen for us, not to us… Now was the time to simply smile and let go.
Reflections of the past year continued to filter in and filter out. All the while, feeling love, protection, connection, understanding, excitement and compassion. What a beautiful feeling it was; knowing I had so much more to do, yet in that moment knew I was doing well, on my highest path with my heart continuing to clear, clean and fill full of love.
In that moment I embraced the offering of responsibility, to love myself unconditionally, accept who I am fully and know this work is far greater than I. Head bowed with grace, reverence and love for the work being done in this time with arms wide open to receive what is before me. Seeing not with my eyes, rather my heart the truth of each step taken.
My heart is truly full of gratitude, love, compassion and reverence for these doors opening, leading one to another. Expanding the wings I flew here with, finding the deepest sense of love and acceptance for my very essence and transmuting/transforming all that is no longer serving me in this vibration while bringing in new teachings as I am ready.
Thank you for sharing in this space. Many blessings and love to you!