Do you ever notice communication is often coded in messaging we expect one another to decipher? In other words, we do not say what we mean and sometimes even mean what we say. There are any number of reasons we may choose to do this, some with well intended and seemingly valid intentions.

The unspoken truth may come from a historical conditioning to say the things you need to, to get what we want or gain the reaction we desire. If we are not honest with ourselves first, we will struggle with understanding this concept let alone be able to reflect on how frequently and why we do it. When we communicate this way, we leave barn doors wide open, allowing assumptions to fill the empty spaces.

From experience, my assumptions tend to be pretty far from what the other person was intending or even thinking, yet, most often, none of this is spoken until something bursts or explodes from the building of misconceptions and assumptions. So, I ask questions, even when it is difficult, uncomfortable and awkward.

Sometimes the questions will make another person defensive, upset or even angry, however, assuming doors are closed and others opened closer to our inner truth. Listening, when we would rather talk and speaking when we would rather hide; each of us has some variation of this and should reflect on how our style of communication increases our sense of happiness, inner-truth and overall ability to have authentic relationships.

My unspoken truth includes my insecurities and doubts within my being. This place, when left alone, can become murky and lead to broken communication, therefore I own my part in drawing assumptions. I also own my responsibility to listen, wait and then ask questions, rather than quickly talk or become defensive. Each day I learn more, feel more at peace and increase my love for myself and this world, by simply reflecting and owning my responsibility. My inner truth may not be perfect, but it sure does feel good to know it, love it and accept it.