I can recall being told over and over to focus on more self care, yet I never really knew what that meant. Most of my life I felt taking care of other people was the most important thing. How could I be so selfish and “take care of me first?”
A few years back my body was doing some serious talking and my heart knew all the messages of self care were really important, yet I still had not figured out what that “really” meant. I had been scheduling massages, time with friends, going to healing sessions and whatever else I thought might constitute this “self care” assignment. Even with these added routines I was still serving others more than myself (although I did not realize this).
As our paths do so gracefully, another life lesson and opportunity fell squarely upon my back, thrusting me into a level of self care I am uncertain I would have found otherwise. I was literally brought to my knees finding myself more dependent upon those around me than I have ever been in my entire life. I was barely able to get myself to the bathroom, let alone dress, walk or otherwise do much beyond lay flat.
My heart knew exactly what was happening… This story is only important to point out the level of which I had to experience before I began to trust myself, get to know my inner-strength and surrender to a space of absolute unknown. This moment began a journey I am still on in understanding who I am and what I am here to learn. My daily “self care” is hourly, if not minute to minute.
To further clarify; I listen to what my body says, I feel the sensations every moment I am awake and I do my best to understand what each of those messages are about and how I am called to respond. The more I look in the mirror, sit with my discomfort and fully accept (not trying to disconnect, let go or otherwise remove) all of who I am and what I may have been in previous lives, I feel a greater sense of peace within my entire being. This peace is felt so intensely at moments I can only smile with my eyes closed and hold the deepest sense of gratitude.
To be continued…