I am forty-years-old, and the subject of sexual misconduct, assault, and abuse is difficult to talk about. The numerous personal experiences with this have shaped my interactions in relationships, insecurities, confidence and overall well-being. While I stand as an incredibly confident, self-aware and self-loving woman today, I still find myself struggling at times, internally.

For this reason, I feel compelled to share my stories with the most profound respect and compassion for every woman or man who has experienced unwanted sexual advances, assault or abuse. This subject needs to be spoken about, acknowledged and eventually given an opportunity to heal and restructure how we interact with one another. Love will heal, love will expand, and love will overcome inequalities and injustices.

First memory:
As a small child (maybe 3 or 4), I can recall the first time a man imposed his will upon my tiny, vulnerable being. Innocent of sexual desires and/or expressions I was curled up in my cozy bed, my eyes closed tight waiting for dreams to arrive. Everything went black; too scared to move, a much older boy (maybe late teens, early twenties) laid down next to me, rubbing my back, then my front, eventually down my underwear, not knowing what was right or wrong, yet my tummy hurt ever so badly, I silently stared into the darkness, temporarily leaving my body… “Shhhh, this will be our secret, don’t tell,” the whispers ringing into my ears, bringing me back.
~ To this day I will wake from recurring dreams of this incident. No matter the level of healing, the memories are difficult to free from our consciousness. ~

In a world, we have expected women to be better, yet we tell them they are less. In a world where women have been highlighted as sexual entertainment for others and walking telegrams of such, yet we blame them for others lack of impulses. In a world, we shush the reports, the same as the assailant has shushed their fears, yet we expect them to rise above. In a world, we hold power over the sexually abused by threatening to damage their reputation, career or integrity to protect the abuser, yet we expect them to carry on as if it never happened. This must stop! The time has come to empower those who need to be heard and heal the deep wounds.