How often do we as parents simply set aside what we feel, want or desire to give something to our kids? Everyday? Well, what about those bigger things, that never seem to go away? Specifically the ones where our children may trigger something deep within us. The times we want to crawl in a corner and wished we could become invisible or transport to another reality. Or perhaps boldly run through the front door screaming, never to look back.

These are moments I have heard from many parents as well as shared my own experiences, yet they seem to be kind of laughed about and just brushed by, not really giving a lot of weight or depth to the unraveling emotions. The idea of sitting in this space within ourselves, let alone with fellow humans is vulnerable and a bit overwhelming. Imagine the potential of empowerment coming from such a conversation? What are the possibilities we mind find solace, comfort, or even guidances and inspiration within this kind of connection.

We need to honor this space, be more honest than we have ever been and talk about breaking the barriers of parenting expectations and judgments. We need help, from our community, family and those willing to help. Vulnerable conversation, while becoming active, loving listeners. We have much to learn from one another and these spaces we hold close to our hearts, out of fear people would see the “true” parent we are (or rather, simply see our struggle in that moment).

Not that long ago and still today in many countries around the world an entire family or village assists in supporting a child. For some ridiculous reason we have created this idea parents in the U.S. are super human, therefore doing everything on their own is expected, without hesitation. Who is this helping? On a big picture scale, does this really make sense? Why do we judge when this is not the norm?

This is potentially the most difficult area of parenting I have experienced, while as a professional behavior consultant I demanded parents do; take time away. I am not talking about simply going to the grocery store by yourself or even taking a weekend away. Take time away, letting your child be with other adults, gaining their own independence, growth and love. When there is separation a deeper level of reflection can happen, allowing healing to occur as well as perspective shifting.

Every family is going to be drastically different, so I am not suggesting this is a “one-size” fits all. It is not, nor is it going to resonate with many parents, especially those with perhaps younger kiddos. What I am saying is that when we begin to feel burnt out, exhausted and frustrated with one or more of our children, we need to look at this without judgement, without criticism and simply acknowledge there are times we need to let go and let others help. Who is it helping to stay in a situation for a long period of time with tensions building?

I look forward to any continued discussion that may come of this. This is the beginning of a greater community breaking barriers with consciously living as facilitators of little people.

Many blessings to you and your families