Now could not be a better time to take a moment and reflect. What a hell of a year, eh? The chaotic churning, creating a wildly erratic whirlpool, filled with unpredictable outcomes. Personally, I have experienced some of the most profound healing this year. Intense headaches and complete nervous system freak outs resulted in waking up dormant parts of me. The last big episode involved a headache that had been in full force for over 48 hours and nothing was working to ease the symptoms, in fact, it almost felt like each remedy brought on something different.

At one point I had placed peppermint and frankincense on my temples and realized I did not feel the coolness. It was as if my senses had completely shut off. My head felt like there were electrical cords running up and down the entire right side of my brain, ear, and neck. The pulsing currents would become sharp and unbearable periodically, forcing me to sit up and squeeze my head as hard as possible, rocking back and forth. My husband contemplated taking me to the emergency room, while I stood in our room, crying and begging for anything to make it stop.

After a phone call with our Dr.(naturopathic healer), I realized a few things; my body was sending the loudest, most intense message it could to wake me up. Make me listen to what was going on. I wrote of some of these reflections in the #metoo reflection. Ultimately, my body was bringing me front and center to recognize the pain I was subconsciously self-inflicting, due to the ignoring of the true pain. I needed to stop, listen, acknowledge and begin to surrender.

The following day, I reached out to a friend to talk about what was going through my now hung over feeling head. As we began to talk I felt myself feeling uncomfortable and in one way wanting to just redirect to something totally different. I felt my throat closing up and my stomach churning. Thrusting the words from deep within, tears followed with near sobbing in the middle of a cafe. I needed this experience to see just how important all of this was. Following that conversation I began to write and speak about my experiences, connecting every dot.

This process continued to unfold, day after day. Each one without a headache. Weeks began to pass, still no headache. My ability to listen and surrender allowed me to see the connections, giving a voice and acknowledgment to what had been held captive within my body. I cannot say this has been easy, nor will I say this had been my first opportunity to learn, rather the intensity was more than likely the result of many years of the pain trying to gain my attention. Today, I continue to be headache free and learning to live with a new me… More to be revealed.