Do you ever wonder why other people’s energy impacts us? Or do you ever notice your kids acting strange when certain people are around? Another example of how connected we all are, something to be mindful of as we are reflecting.
First, we must recall; Life happens “for” us, not “to” us AND we attract energy we need to learn from as well as represents a part of who we are. So, we have a responsibility in what kind of energy shows up in our lives. Do not underestimate this part. Reflecting on this daily – sometimes hourly – is extremely important and will allow us to see the patterns, lessons and opportunities to move forward and away from limiting energy.
Our children (or sometimes other people’s children) are direct mirrors of our energy. Some kids seem to take on the energy or emotions of individuals around them more than others, creating this false emotion or behavior within the child. The behavior sometimes will look out of place or seem to come from nowhere.
As adults we have learned to cork our emotions and ration our expressions as the feelings begin to take hold of our body. When we choke down, hold back or simply deny certain emotions to move freely our kids pick up where we left off, however it looks totally different. The emotion is technically not theirs to process, although we unknowingly give it to them.
As a parent when this happens we often becoming agitated or angry with what we are seeing, rarely connecting the dots. The child will trigger something within us, bringing out another emotion, usually the opposite emotion of the one we failed to express the first go around. This is normal, however we can do better.
If we allow our children to become too accustomed in taking on our unprocessed emotions they continue to do this for others outside of the family. As they get older, this becomes a conditioned response in relationships, increasing the probability of their own emotions becoming secondary or entirely absent. Of course this would never be our intent as parents, while we also have a responsibility to work with this truth.
This may be one of the single most important tools we can teach our kids and learn to recognize within ourselves as it is happening. Our society reflects a long-lasting cycle of passing emotions around, rather than individual ownership and responsibility. Perhaps a greater awareness will begin to break such a deeply engrained cycle.
We begin by simply noticing our own emotional responses to things going on, later looking to our children to see how they too shift. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions, verbally acknowledging whatever you are feeling or experiencing within your body. Letting your kids see you physically process emotions allows them to feel safe and gives them permission to do the same. As we learn, we begin to see what is ours versus theirs.
Even with adult children, this is important. Our kids are still connected to us in a way no one else is. One day at a time, reflecting with an open heart. Vulnerable and honestly owning our path.